Jakarta, CNBC Indonesia – As is known, not all children, especially teenagers, want to share stories with their parents. The reasons are varied, they are afraid of being judged, scolded and lectured.
If this is left unchecked, it can cause the relationship between children and parents to become strained. Therefore, special methods are needed to overcome this condition.
Quoting from the Today's Parent page, open relationships between children and parents generally occur before children are teenagers. This was also expressed by a parenting trainer in Vancouver, Julie Romanwoski.
Julie revealed that communication skills are ingrained in children from infancy and toddlerhood. When a baby cries and you hold them, it shows that you are someone they can rely on.
The following are tips for getting your child to open up to you, collected from various sources.
1. Ask specific questions
For children who are not yet school age, it may be difficult for them to express their feelings and tell various things because it is still difficult for them to express them in a concise sentence. Therefore, parents need to ask more specifically.
According to Julie, it's a good idea for parents to ask questions like, 'What would you like more today? Snack time or time to hang out with friends?'.
Not only that, you can also ask general questions like, 'Who did you play with today?' or 'What did you sing today?'.
2. Don't directly interrogate the child
When your child starts going to school, don't immediately interrogate them with questions when they get home. In fact, children have also received various questions from teachers at school.
Take a few minutes to get your child in the mood again and you can connect with them.
So, instead of asking directly, it's better to say, 'Hi, son, I miss you because you're at school. Here, Mom, help me carry the bag.” That way, they will think, 'Ah, Mom really supports me'.
3. Make time in the evening
Julie suggests that parents take time in the evening, specifically after dinner. Sit down and do various activities together, even if it's only for 10 minutes.
“You're giving them the message that you're ready to help them,” Julie said.
4. Be a good listener
As children get older, parents will not be physically present continuously. Even so, parents are still needed to provide emotional support.
What parents must do is to remain good listeners. Even though it's difficult, make sure you stay focused on what your child is saying.
5. Talk in the car
Quoting from the Parents page, the dining table is considered an ideal place for parents to chat with their children. However, sitting face to face can sometimes make children close themselves off.
The car is a good place to talk to children at an age when they are growing up. There is no need to make eye contact because the child may feel uncomfortable.
6. Hold special meetings
Hold a special meeting with your child at least once a month. Not only that, make sure parents can watch TV shows together at least once a week so that children still get quality time with their parents.
7. Do activities together
Once children start school, they realize that their parents pay attention to how they study and get along with other people. They also understand that they are being watched or may feel some pressure.
This feeling of anxiety will make children reluctant to share details about their daily lives. So, try to involve your child in certain activities such as playing games or reading books together. Doing activities together can help children feel less watched.
[Gambas:Video CNBC]
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