Jakarta, CNBC Indonesia – Death is a certain thing. Every living person will face it one day. When death comes, no one will be able to escape it. However, it turns out that there are several things that people regret before death.
“Many people wish they could express more love and use their last words to say thank you to the most important person in their life,” said oncologist Siddhartha Mukherjee, quoted by CNBC Make It.
Meanwhile, Bronnie Ware is a book writer The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, mHe said many people regret not doing enough for themselves. Bronnie is a former terminal patient nurse who for 8 years provided assistance to people battling serious illnesses, many of which ended in death.
Bronnie said that because of his job, he often heard the guilt and regret of people who were on their deathbeds. He collected the stories and put them in his book.
In the book, Bronnie says there are 5 sentences of regret that are most expressed by her patients. These five sentences include:
1. If only I had the courage to live a life that is true to myself, not the life that other people expect of me.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
3. If only I had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had kept in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.
Bronnie says regret number 1 is the one she hears most often.
“When people realize that their lives are almost over and look back clearly, it is easy to see how many dreams went unfulfilled,” Bronnie wrote.
“Most people don't achieve even half of their dreams and have to die knowing that it was because of the choices they made, or didn't make.”
Bronnie wrote that perhaps many people choose the college major, career path, or job that their parents want. There are also many people who might sacrifice their dreams of traveling around the world, in order to stay close to their loved ones.
“Save yourself a lifetime of regret by putting your best interests and happiness first when making decisions,” suggests Bronnie.
Regarding regrets about working too hard, research conducted by Haris Poll on 1,170 workers in the United States stated that 78% of them sacrificed their vacation time to keep working.
Prioritizing work above all else makes maintaining mental health and relationships more difficult. Microsoft founder Bill Gates once shared his experience of working too hard in his graduation speech at Northern Arizona University.
“When I was your age, I didn't believe in vacations. I didn't believe in weekends. I didn't believe the people I worked with had to either,” Gates said. However, he admits he didn't realize there was more to life than work. Gates only realized this when he became a father.
“Don't wait as long as I waited to learn this lesson,” he said. “Take time to nurture your relationships. To celebrate your successes. And to recover from your losses. Take a break when you need it. Relax on the people around you when they need it too.”
Devoting time and attention to friends and family, putting one's best interests first and staying true to oneself all play a role in overall happiness and life satisfaction, according to Bronnie.
“Most people don't realize that until it's too late,” he wrote in his blog post.
“Many don't realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They remain stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflows into their emotions… When deep inside, they want to laugh properly and feel the silliness of their lives again,” he wrote.
“Life is a choice,” Bronnie added. “This is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
[Gambas:Video CNBC]
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